I can’t believe it. I’m already half way through the 50 books I promised myself I would read this year.

I wish I could say that it’s been all pleasure, but it hasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been happy to dance and wrestle with almost everything I’ve read. And picking the number 50 was a great way for me to really commit to communing with my sense of myself as a reader, first and foremost. This has been a really wonderful gift, this sense of reconnection with a misplaced piece of who I am, wrapped up so often in the everydayness of life.

It’s just that… here, at the halfway mark, I wish I had allowed myself some more time with some of these books. I also want to re-read, which is one of my greatest pleasures. Perhaps this is a problem with setting down a number, and therefore establishing  a pace and routine. Reading, for me, is a form of love, and love  should never be routinized.

But don’t worry, I’m not giving up on my goal.  It’s just something I’ve been thinking about. I’m excited for the next few books, and for what treasures may yet reveal themselves, entering into the second half of the year.

Updated Top 5, in no particular order:

5. Ghosts, by César Aira

4.Tracks, by Louise Erdrich

3. The Obiturary, by Gail Scott

2. How Should A Person Be?, by Sheila Heti

1. Their Eyes Were Watching God, by Zora Neale Hurston

Again, I’m not very good at making lists like these, because I can barely stand to see this list without thinking about how great all of the books I’ve read that aren’t on it are. Like, for example, Fortress of Solitude, The MysteryGuest, A Gate at the Stairs, and The Mezzanine. There is an overabundance of books, and I am a very lucky lady to have had mostly good ones– and some great ones!– for Bookside Table.